Bipolar Awareness Day 2024

By Scott Box

When it comes to Bipolar awareness, it seems to me that many people don’t want to know anything more than that I’m not going to freak out, embarrass them or do something dangerous that could hurt myself or others. The truth is, I want to know the same thing about people, and even the pets, in my life—“You’re not going to hurt me, right?” is the question I want to be answered most. I don’t intend to be reductive, but most people have their problems and don’t have the resources to process my mood disorder. I get it. I don’t have the time or even the capability to be mindful of every possible disorder, deadly cancer or threat to humanity on every day of the year. Therefore, I think Bipolar Awareness Day probably is not so much about eliminating Bipolar stigma as it is a day dedicated to people like my wife, family or friends who have chosen to love me and walk alongside me as a part of my team. Maybe Bipolar Awareness Day is a day for you, too—you’ve gotten this far into a blog post with an intentionally niche title, for goodness sake. So, perhaps a Bipolar Awareness Day would be most beneficial for us. Cool. 

There are a handful of things I find valuable to remember as I consider my Bipolar disorder journey in 2024. Here’s a short list: 

• The Gift: I need to remember to be aware that in the first five years after diagnosis, while I learned to manage my health, I felt like being sick with Bipolar disorder was a disgrace. But over those early years, I began to experience Bipolar disorder as a gift from God slowly. The gift of my “disgraceful” mental illness was that God guided me to reach the end of myself, to reach desperation that caused me to reach for Jesus—a gift. 
• The Angles: Ongoing awareness of Bipolar disorder reminds me that I could not depend on myself—my moods and actions were undisciplined and, sadly, wildly unpredictable. So my wife, Kariann, and I sought out a marvelous Christian counseling and psychiatric team to help me begin to bring my mind, body and spirit to a healthy place. Our team taught us that the best practice for wholeness was treating my sickness from each necessary angle—mind, body and spirit. They helped me realize that my health wasn’t only about belief in Jesus and prayer. My health wasn’t only about a consistent dedication to medication. Nor was achieving good health going to be about my diet and exercise only. And my health certainly was not going to be about doing things to self-medicate. Instead, achieving the health of my mind, body and spirit would take a lifestyle of slowly adjusting and refining aspects within all these areas. It would take a holistic approach to a new process that started with depending on Jesus, not myself.
• The Process: I couldn’t just say I “believed” in Jesus. Nor could I just know of Jesus or know things about Him. I had to become “disgracefully dependent” upon Him as my king and friend. I had to dedicate my life to changing my thoughts about a relationship with Jesus. Follow my logic: Instead of believing that Jesus would solve everything, I realized managing Bipolar disorder required Jesus’ involvement. In other words, I trusted Jesus through the process of diagnosis, the introduction of doctors and medications, the addition of exercise and modifications to my diet. I trusted Jesus would use the process to guide me into health, not save me from the process to heal me. Sure, Jesus could do what He wanted in my story. He could heal me, but He didn’t. Instead, Jesus was much more interested in the journey/process to get me to a healthy and whole destination. 
• The Tools: When I realized that God was using the process to move me toward health, I started looking for the tools He created for me to use. I needed handles to grab. I have always believed that Jesus did not want me to wave off the tools as unnecessary or unspiritual. I thought He intended me to hold the handles He put in front of my face. The Christian faith has always been about healing the mind, body and spirit in concert. That means doctors, scientists and pastors are all working to achieve the same ends in an ideal world. That also means people were to use tools like doctors, medication, counseling, exercise, and spiritual disciplines to gain wholeness. I approached my awareness of Bipolar disorder in this way—to use all the tools Jesus made available boldly.
• The Awareness: I understood that health was the outcome when I pursued Jesus as a way of life—a way of worship. I became aware that I could replicate Jesus’ lifestyle of worship by using His processes and tools. I knew that a lifestyle of worshiping Jesus required “spirit and truth.” So, regarding the process and tools, I would not eliminate truth to act like I was spiritual. Nor was I going to destroy my belief in Jesus to follow the science/“truth.” I have always benefited from a mindset that favored a lifestyle of worship—the benefit has been a hopeful awareness of eternal adventure that has put my sickness in context and kept me grounded in reality/truth. 

Life has always been dangerous for me and others when I do what is good by acting like a god. Eventually, I became tired of flirting with hopelessness in the course of living an out-of-control life by being my own “god.” Sure, I was a man who had Bipolar disorder. And sure, I would never have become the idealized, indestructible, godlike action hero who saved everyone—I couldn’t save myself, let alone live out my values consistently. Ultimately, Jesus Christ, the Great Hero, used Bipolar disorder as a gift that guided me into a new life. Bipolar disorder helped me understand that I could not only “believe in Jesus.”—Belief was only the starting line, not the finish line. I chose a lifestyle of worship where I submitted to His processes and used the tools that brought health to mind, body and spirit. And that is what I want everyone to be aware of on Bipolar Awareness Day 2024. Maybe you need to take a moment to become aware or to simply remember that you are aware that it is time to use your “gift.” Choose to use Jesus’ processes and tools. Then let your story of health and wholeness as a result of your worship and the “gift” God has given you become a gift to others.

“Your mess is your message.”—Al Egg, former Chaplin for the Portland Trailblazers

Scott and Kariann Box live in Redmond, Oregon. Scott serves as Pastor of Development at Shiloh Ranch Church and has been a worship leader for over twenty-five years. Kariann works as a Realtor in Central Oregon and supports Scott\’s…creative spirit. They have two children, a one-hundred-pound Labradoodle and a four-pound Shih Tzu without teeth. Scott is the author of HEROIC DISGRACE: Order out of chaos. Hope out of fear. ― A Worship Hero Story